Grown up Women

30 is new 20 ?

I don’t know man.. if I should take everything going on with me seriously or I have to make limit, but as I grow up to more older and older, and I find myself is more into building a serious relationship among of all my circle of friends, boyfriend, office’s friend. I can not accept any betrayal bull-shit anymore that happened behind my back. I am entering a phase that I need to filter out everything, so only the best or at least we have the same intention toward each other and what I want is only simple happiness, where me and friends or my boyfriend know how to make the day is meaningful.

so yeah, 30 is a kinda scary number for me to be honest, but well…we ageing. haha! what I want to talk about here is the differences between when you are in the 20’s what important to you as a sort of thought that you have to be in one community or certain bunch of pals, either it’s from work or schoolmates, but that will not happen by the time you grow your maturity into the next level, what you want is CERTAIN commitment and CERTAIN people to be around that always can invest in you the same energy (well, don’t need to be exactly the same, but got 80% an idea of being in adulthood) that you are not a high school’s girl anymore, the way you think, the way you solved the problem, and the way you are engaged with people surrounding you, I felt that getting older is the most difficult transition phase moment from middle-age crisis in your 20s to 30s where you have to take things more seriously, more responsibility and you credibility and integrity as a person is always being asked. that is a phase when you only need a few friends an inner circles that give you positive energy to spend and sharing or else it’s just about a time when finally you meet conflict in it and you are struggling to find the best way yet mature to solve those conflicts. I believe we don’t want to be involved in any conflict, neither do I, but it happened to me a lot of time. I swear this will not coming from people you are expected, but coming from people you least expected and make you think “am I who have a problem here?” , “what did I do?” , “I just do not agree of those things, then why would that be a problem?” that’s what happened to me , when your principle game more stronger than just “well, at least I got a friend” there is no such thing having friend is just “at least” especially when your friends now happened to be so toxic, smooth-wicked mouth, that can not be longer at your friend list! it’s intoxicated your mind, the way you thinking, the way you grow as a person. you can do better than that, be the real you, be the real whoever your intuition leads you to be, be stand out, speak up whatever your mind needs to tell you if it’s not right then so be it. no need to hide it for an image, no need to considered it as well behaviour in front of other while your soul is screaming “THIS AIN’T FUCKING RIGHT!” then just tell them. end of discussion. they might see you as a hard dealing person, but hell yeah baby… I am what I it or leave it! getting old, doesn’t mean you are the one who has to take all responsibilities, but the environment has to be your support system at the same time when that environment is no longer being a place you can count on, then why would you the one who have to stick on there? move out and make a new thing, life is too short to spend on something who does not make you happy and a better person. “it’s better being a lion a day, then have to be a sheep all year long,”

anyway, these are my thoughts and probably will going to add more in the next blog, but for now, these are my struggle getting old and have to mature myself at the same time with so many surprises things happen to go on around me right now, and I put my soundtrack this time is none other my love Imagine Dragons – Radioactive ❤ yeah be radioactive baby!! 

hell yeah!

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